A Reflection on 2020 and My Hopes for the Future

This year was awful in so many ways, but experiencing all of the grief and heartache allowed for a lot of personal growth and learning. In this blog post, I'm acknowledging the horrible events of 2020, but also sharing with you how I've grown, what I've learned and how I have shifted my worldview. I hope you enjoy and are able to reflect on your own experience of living through the year that will go down in history as one of the worst years ever.

2020 was a hellish year. There is simply no other way of putting it. No good thing that happened this year, could distract us or make all of the horrible things that happened seem not so bad. The year was awful for pretty much everyone on this planet and that is really just the truth. We had this worldwide pandemic that caused so much death and despair. It locked us in our homes. It prevented us from seeing our friends and family. We weren’t able to do things that we never really considered a luxury before like going out to eat or walking into a store. We couldn’t travel. We couldn’t even breathe the fresh air. It sucked, but we had to do what we needed to do to protect ourselves, our loved ones, and just the people around us (or at least most of us did. some people choose to ignore the pandemic). This year also saw the devastation of the Australian fires and the Beirut explosion. Black people had to continue the fight for our lives and the fight to be seen as equal in the eyes of the law and the eye of everyday Americans. We reached what was probably our breaking point and created a worldwide movement that allowed many non-black people to educate themselves and begin to understand the continuing pain and loss that black Americans feel. If only George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and those who died before them under the racist government of America could see the change that they brought, the impact they had and could see that we all care and that their lives mattered. Much of the world stood united and together to fight the injustice and to work towards a better future that is rid of systemic racism.

Another tragedy struck when several role models, celebrities, and public figures passed away. Among these were: Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna, legendary supreme court justice RGB, the Black Panther: Chadwick Boseman, and actress Naya Rivera. Biden won the election, which was a great victory for some of us, but women still worried for the protection of their reproductive rights when Amy Coney Barrett was elected to fill RGB’s seat. 2020 being over does not mean all of the pain and worry will go away because as we go into 2021 our government is not perfect or rid of the things we were fighting against and the pandemic is still raging on. But as we go into 2021, all I can do and hope for is more joy and positivity. My biggest hope is that Covid-19 becomes less of a problem and that we are able to go back to doing the normal things that we used to take for granted. One of the only good things to come out of this year most definitely was personal growth and this was a common theme for people worldwide. Going through collective trauma meant growing together and learning more about the world and our relationships. Spending extended time inside allowed for personal reflection and growth. I can say that this year, for me, created a sense of clarity that I didn’t have before and I learned a lot about myself and what I wanted to contribute to the world of fashion and the world in general. As everyone in my life knows, my dream job is to be the Editor-in-Chief of Vogue Magazine, but I realized that I don’t just want to take on that role because of my love of the incredibly exciting world of fashion. I want to do it because of the impact I can have from running such a legendary magazine. There are stories that remain untold that I want to bring to light, there are people who deserve a voice, and there is change that still needs to happen.

I want to be a large part of continuing to bring forth this change in places like diversity and acceptance. I want to make a Vogue that exhibits diversity not just in its glossy pages, mood boards, and social media platforms, but in its workspace. People of color, people of different sizes, and different gender identities and sexualities deserve a voice and their voice not only matters when speaking about injustice, but in fashion and beauty too because Vogue should appeal to everyone and nobody should feel or be excluded from enjoying its work. It already has improved immensely in the diversity of stories and voices, but there is always more work to be done and I want to be a part of it. I also want to be a part of holding people accountable for injustice and exclusion. When it comes to what I want to contribute to the world itself, I want to be someone who is a lover, but also a fighter. I want my voice and my opinions to be heard because everyone’s voice matters. I want to stand up to injustice with passion and grit and be somebody who wants to make the world a more accepting and happy place. The trauma from this year has motivated me to work harder towards my goals and the future I want to have, but it also reminded me to take a step back and to be appreciative of what I have and how far I have come.

On Christmas Day, I watched the Disney movie “Soul” and it taught me(and everyone else who has watched it) that we tend to be so hyper-focused on finding our purpose or reaching our goals that we forget to live and we forget about the beauty that exists in the little things around us. We can find joy in the smallest things, but we just have to slow down sometimes in order to really see it. So going forward for years to come, I want to live my best life and do my best to live it to the fullest. Yes, I have a future goal and a future career that I will continue to work hard for, but I will also take time just to be happy and to make sure that I’m allowing myself to be the best version of myself, a version that I love, because that’s the most important thing. We are all human beings capable of success, but we all owe it to ourselves to allow ourselves to simply live. And don’t get me wrong, I will most definitely be making a vision board this year about what I want my future to look like and that is a way of me manifesting my job at Vogue (blog post on that will be coming soon), but I won’t forget the idea of just living and making the most out of my journey, wherever it takes me.